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Everything: A Book of Aphorisms, by Aaron Haspel
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Aphorisms are often derided as trivial, yet most people rule their lives with five or six of them. This collection contains five or six hundred, some of which you wouldn't want to rule your life with.
"The Rochefoucauld of the Twitter generation has arrived. Aaron Haspel's crisp, curt, cold-eyed aphorisms pack the maximum amount of truth into the minimum amount of space — and do it with elegance and wit." —Terry Teachout, drama critic, The Wall Street Journal
"Aaron Haspel is good, very good." —Nassim Nicholas Taleb, author of Antifragile and The Black Swan
"My favorite aphorist of the 21st century." —Colin Marshall, Boing Boing
"Extremely good...wry, wise rules." —James Geary, author of The World in a Phrase and editor of Geary's Guide to the World's Great Aphorists
- Sales Rank: #625199 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-02-16
- Released on: 2015-02-16
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Original aphorisms so good that you'll think they're from from some dead wise man
By Cliff Styles
I was lucky enough to encounter Aaron Haspel’s writing early in his career as an aphorist, and he opened my attention to a Pandora’s box-car of wit and bludgeon; this book is the first collection from years of his own work, the only quoted material is an occasional one-liner initiating a chapter.
From my yet insufficient travels among the aphorists, it seems to me that an average aphorist will gently shake or pleasantly confirm your comfy self-delusions, a good aphorist will upset your equilibrium with some sharp exposition from a worldview probably truer than your own, but a great aphorist will write pointed and inescapable truths as many personas in many arenas and often slip in a disturbing uncertainty alongside some fresh and painful truth.
Aaron Haspel is with the greats.
‘Examples!?!’, I hear you cry? Fine, here you go, pilgrim.
At one time or another, Mr Haspel sounds like:
Eric Hoffer writing about the world from the docks - “One of truth’s greatest enemies is collegiality”; “Anything can be conjured into existence by empowering a committee to suppress it”;
Rodney Dangerfield delivering a one liner - “An electronic device that tracked your location at all times used to be a condition of parole”;
A ruthless agony aunt telling you to buck up and face the music - “It is impossible to recognize your betters until you acknowledge that they exist”;
A crusader against self-deception - “To hate something properly you must have liked it once”; “We are such accomplished liars because we get so much practice on ourselves”;
A modern zen master - “Taxes, regarded as the price of indifference, are a bargain”;
Diogenes delivering smack - “Every logical fallacy is also a valid heuristic”;
Sometimes even a surprising and friendly uncle - “You attenuate your strengths by too assiduously correcting your defects”;
and, finally, Cassandra warning of doom - the last item in the book will give you a chill, as will many others, but you’ll have to buy the book to read it, I’m not giving it away. The above are not even his best, by the way, read the book to discover them.
Among many uses, you can exploit this book as a self-help manual. How? By fighting with Haspel, or if you insist, agreeing with him. One seduction an apt aphorism incites is that gratifyingly instantaneous Yes!! or No!!!, but the real profit is from a slow hunt for examples on your own, and from the dawning revelation of the Big Question that is slipped in alongside the seemingly self-evident. So fight with Haspel, he’ll often win or at least give you a good pummeling, but keep in mind this excellent Haspel admonition: “There are few experiences as salutary as losing an argument, but only if you notice”.
This book does the opposite of the modern publishing so given to inflating 5 cent magazine articles into 25 buck hardcovers: Haspel condenses his lifelong study and rumination into point and pith, and after gulping in a dozen Haspelisms, you’ll be stuffed to the intellectual gills, and need a lie-down to digest them, or a rant and google against his ‘obvious’ errors, or a quiet bar in which to mutter and stew in your chagrin.
The downside is that Haspel will make you less receptive to the pleasant bloviations that feed anodyne distraction to your head, from others or from yourself, while the upside will be that he’ll provide you with a sharp memory stick with which to puncture those bloviations when you tire of them. Haspel’s shorter, and better, version: “We remember what we believe, and believe what we remember.”. You’ll quote him from memory, not always exactly but still aptly, as I have.
Oh yes, and he’ll amuse you, though it’s amusement with a frisson of anxiety from suspecting that your soul is painted on his bullseye. He has, by the way, no inhibition or prohibition against pinning himself on that target.
The book’s a steal at this price, so pay the pittance and take a kiss from the abyss; you’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll put yourself ahead of the crowd, you’ll wise up, you’ll improve your cocktail conversation, and you’ll be a better man. How many writers have ever done as much for you?
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Sticks and Stones may Break your Bones, but Haspel Draws Blood.
By John Faithful Hamer
In a letter to a friend, Nietzsche maintained that the only readers who could really claim to have understood his Zarathustra (1891) were those who were, at times, profoundly wounded by it. I couldn’t help but think of this remark as I read Everything (2015). Although this book is quite short and extraordinarily clear, it’s not an easy read. Far from it actually. Haspel says that he asks but “one thing of literature: that it draw blood.” And he delivers on this score, again and again, with aphorisms like the following: (i) “Whatever you think you like — are you sure you like it? Or do you like being the sort of person who likes it?” (ii) “Whatever you have done, you are the sort of person who would do that.” (iii) “It never seems to occur to the teacher who complains of inattentive students that he may not be worth attending to.” (iv) “If you want to destroy your marriage talk about it.”
But these are only some of the most obviously challenging aphorisms contained in this volume. The more insidious ones are like time-bombs or retroviruses: I rarely “get” them the first time I read them. Don’t even necessarily get them when I’m reading them. Instead, something happens or someone says something, days or even weeks later, and a bell goes off in my head and I think “a-ha”—that’s what he meant! For instance, this aphorism (which I posted the other day on Facebook) is loved at first for almost all of the wrong reasons: “If it has never crossed your mind that you might be stupid, you are.” People who’ve been (like me), at times, painfully aware of their inadequacy, read this and feel smart. Until, that is, they realize, a few days or weeks later, that although failing the aphorism’s test proves that you’re stupid, passing it doesn’t prove that you’re smart. A week or two later, however, it gets worse: the self-congratulatory glow loses all of what’s left of its luster when you realize that you can be stupid and know you’re stupid.
Some of Haspel’s aphorisms are laugh-out-loud funny, such as: (i) “Passion, n. An overwhelming urge to spend your life at something you don’t do especially well.” (ii) “The ideal work environment for a writer is jail.” (iii) “Blaming an actor for being a narcissist is like blaming a tiger for being a carnivore.” (iv) It is when we recognize our hopeless inadequacy at everything else that we discover our vocation.” And some of them are straightforwardly brilliant, such as this one, which is, to my mind, the best summary of the Socratic way of life I have ever read: “A grudging willingness to admit error does not suffice; you have to cultivate a taste for it.”
Still, if you’re looking for the kind of writer beloved of avid readers of The New Yorker—the kind who knows how to make his educated liberal audience feel superior to all of those yahoos in the sticks who hunt, pray, vote Republican, and believe in weird stuff—don’t buy this book. Seriously, don’t. Because you’ll hate it. Haspel holds up a mirror, and, trust me, you’re not going to like everything you see. I know I didn’t. If Haspel has an overarching message that he wants to impart it’s that we’re not exempt from the follies of our day, even (and perhaps especially) when we think we are: “We are more like our contemporaries than we imagine, and less like our ancestors.”
I read a great deal (probably more than I should), and I’ve been a great lover of the aphoristic genre for over twenty years. Yet never before have I encountered so many aphorisms written by a contemporary of such a high quality: Haspel is in a league of his own. At his best, Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s aphorisms in The Bed of Procrustes (2010) rival those of Epicurus (e.g., “Love without sacrifice is like theft” is something I wish I had written). But my fellow Canadian, George Murray, probably deserves the prize for second place. His most recent collection of aphorisms, Glimpse (2010), is often outstanding (e.g., “Rubble becomes ruin when the tourists arrive”). Even so, the collection is scandalously uneven, and it really doesn’t hold a candle to Everything. To wit: Aaron Haspel is the greatest master of the aphoristic form writing in English today. It’s always hard to know which books will stand the test of time, which books will be read 300 years from now. But if I was a betting man, I’d bet on Everything.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
More than very good.
By Jean-Louis Rheault
using one of his own aphorism about art, I would say It is one of those rare pieces of writing that reads us and finds us wanting.
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